The Top 5 Phrases We've GOT To Stop Using

All of the phrases here pretty much mean this.

Throughout my time in life, we sometimes get slack with our language. We will say stuff that the common mind won't find abnormal, but people who like to dissect and analyze English realize that some of the things we say are kinda dickish. There are just some phrases out there that--when I see them--I want to slap whoever said it (punch if it's the Top 2).

Here, I'm going to lay out the phrases I hate seeing and why. Remember that this is a personal opinion of mine, so don't think this is some sort of an official list.

Number 5: "No offense, but..."


I think most anyone reading this has at least heard this phrase before. This phrase isn't all that offensive to most but--to some--this is hypocrisy at its finest. Saying "No offense, but your reviews suck." Is basically saying, "Suck my dick, and your reviews suck." Seriously. You're trying to sound non-offensive but you are going to say it anyways. It's like saying, "Not trying to be racist or anything, but blacks are really stupid." You can't be much more of a hypocrite than that.

Thankfully, I've noticed most people tend to not use this phrase as much and have somewhat replaced it with, "With all due respect...", which sounds a lot better in my opinion.

Number 4: "That's nice."


This is one of those lackluster phrases that is as bland as you can get. It's one of those things your dad or mom told you when you showed them a drawing you made during preschool. They'd reply with, "That's nice.", which at that time, your brain probably couldn't put pieces together and realize that it's almost like another way of saying, "Whatever." It just sounds more polite to say. Whenever I hear this, I basically hear, "Whatever, I don't care." and then I proceed to bitch slap.

Don't worry; I have coupons.

Number 3: "Good for you!"


This phrase just makes me grind my gears. It's saying, "That's good for you, but it doesn't help me out in any way, so leave me alone!" Every time I see someone say this, I leave yet another dent in my desk, which brings it one step closer to be grinded into toothpicks one day. It's become so common that it's used sarcastically, for example:

Asshole A: "Hey, man, I just totally got in bed with your girlfriend!"

Asshole B: "Good for you!"

Asshole A: "...Wait, I don't think you heard me right, dude."

Asshole B: "I'm too wasted to give a damn."

Number 2: "Whatever."

This phrase needs to die. It really does. Some of these phrases are basically, "Whatever." in a polite sense. But when you don't even try, that pisses some people off. It's like a verbal slap to the face; no matter what you say or do to it, it ain't budging. And it makes you angry physically. I don't even understand this phrase grammatically, "What ever"? What the fuck does that mean? You don't care what happens or what the next case scenario is, so you just say, "What ever?" I don't know. And that makes me have an even bigger headache.

Number 1: "Don't insult God."

This phrase I basically hear all the time down here in the south. People here seem to love being creationists and yet love hunting. I don't know, figure it out yourself.

But not just them; I'm sure there are others in the country (and probably others) who do too. If I were to walk in my school and say I'm atheist, or even agnostic, things would be really rough. They'd be having church sessions just revolving around me for not believing in God, 100%, no questions whatsoever. Whenever someone says this or something similar (Ex: Believe Jesus is your savior or you will burn in Hell, don't use the name of the lord in vain, etc.), I painfully wish to give them the bloody nose of a lifetime.

I'm stretching it on this one a little, I know, but I'd rather punch a fucker who says this to me than someone who says "Whatever." I don't insult you for believing in God, don't insult me for not believing in him. We need to stop making religion such a damn touchy subject down here.

Life is Annoying (Sometimes)

I'm running out of corny photos, so here's a kitten.

Y'know, at the beginning of today, I thought today was going to be alright. Just your average Thursday, going to school and coming home, feeling satisfied that your day turned out swell. For some reason, sometimes that doesn't happen. Sometimes fate likes to throw a curve-ball and screw up your perception of what the day is really going to go as. I'm going to go over today in what just rubbed me off the wrong way, starting with school.

School started off alright, having to over the Big Bang theory with a bunch of close minded Christians with religious debate, followed by a usual monotone composition class. Next came a slightly annoying Geography class, and then the "KIDS, WE'RE GOING TO LEARN WHAT A "PLOT" AND "SETTING" IS." Literature class, treating me as though I can't walk for shit. Then...

Math. Math so far this year is ridiculously easy, so this class I would have least expected to annoy the fuck out of me. But it did. I walk in the class, sat in my desk instinctively, pulling my books out... When I look up to see a friend with a chocolate bar. I say, "Hey! Can I have a quick piece, if you don't mind?" He nods. Now, note, he's only about halfway across the class room from me. He then tosses it to one guy--who is the class clown, yet idiotic dick--who then could've easily handed it to me. He instead tosses it to another student, who then tosses it to the guy to his left, hoping not to be a part of this antic. I wasn't really paying attention to this chaos though, since I was trying to pull my notebook. The kid to the "Just leave me alone."'s left then throws the chocolate piece towards my face, with a stupid, cheesy grin you'd imagine some troll on 4chan to have after successfully trolling. Only dumber.

This, only if he had down-syndrome.

I then reluctantly looked up in despair to see the piece of the chocolate bar on the floor, with me being the guy who doesn't believe in the "3 Second" rule. Not even Lucky Star could've convinced me to believe such a myth.



I was going to pass it off, but then--because these children don't have IQs above 30--start immaturely screeching and yelling, "AHHH, MAN, HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?! MAN, YOU SUCK!" This wasn't like one or two kids, this was the entire fucking class. I did my best to just brush it off, and tried to pick up the chocolate piece before the tubby to my left decided to pick it up and toss it at me fucking again. Seriously, this school needs better psychiatrists, because the ones they have now must be the cheapest they could possibly scavenge for these insane hoppips you call "students."

I then just picked it up and care freely tossed it onto the kid's desk. Of course, now the teacher in the classroom decides to bitch at me. After having it thrown it at me in the face twice, the teacher thought that wasn't a big deal. But tossing it in the air without even trying to hit someone? That's crossing the fucking line. She then admonishes me and says, "Pick that up and never do that again." Again, me being the pitiful rug I am, picked it up and tossed it in the trash can sheepishly, as the other students giggled at me as I could only raise my fist. The rest of the day went decently school-wise.

I then returned home, tired and yet in the mood to help things out a bit. My dad was the only one home, as my mom was out. So, I decided to help, by cleaning the dog's water out, taking out the trash earlier than usual and even mowed the lawn a slight bit more. With that in mind, you'd expect my mother to come home rather astonished.

THINK AGAIN

And keep in mind, by this point of the day, the whole chocolate bar incident was effaced from my memories of, "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, I NEED TO PUNCH SOME SHIT." My mother then walks through the door, and the first thing she says--the first fucking thing she says--is this:

Mom: John Eagle... [puts bags down on kitchen floor] First off, you forgot a bag or two for the trash.

Me: Oh, well, sorry. I was-

Mom: Second, you can't just leave your trash down on the kitchen counter like this! Put it in the trash can!

Me: Well, I was busy trying to refill the dog's--

Mom: Here, take these to the trash out front already. [Hands bags]

Me: Nice to see you, too, mom.

I then did her garbage duty, only to walk into the house hearing her bitching and whining about the house:

Mom: You know why I'm in such an aggravated mood, John Eagle?
Me: No, why?

Mom: Because, every time I walk into this house, it looks like--sorry for the language--shit! It looks like a trailer park!

Mom. I love you. I really do. But you're bitching is not only getting me ready to smash the damned counter in half, you're being stubborn. This is a trailer park:

Our house looks similar to this:

You're bitching about the house having a few leaves and such on the floor, while some people dream of just having stable cardboard box to stay under for a night. Get over it. I'm tired of hearing you complain about the house looking messy. It's not like we're living on the damned streets, we live in a house that some could say looks like a mansion. What's worse: A Mansion that's got some various trash on the floor, or a cardboard box on the street? Or a small hut made of leaves and prickles? We're living in paradise compared to others. Quit your nagging and show some damned courtesy.

After that, I then crept up into my room and wrote this waste of text and time that could've been used for something much better.I'm not saying my problems in my life are the worst possible. Believe me. My problems are nuisances at the least. But even then, they're still problems. We all have them. I'm just letting out my inner nerd rage by writing. It's the only thing I can do to let it off without giving every kid in my classroom a bloody nose or punching my mom in the face out of complete spasmodic rage.

So, that does it for this. I need a drink.

Bleh, not that crap.

Much better.

This School Sucks and Why

Welcome to school, i.e., Hell.

Now, before you all think I'm about to complain like an immature 5th grader who can't even comprehend the difference between a continent and a country, reread that title. What's that? It says "THIS School Sucks and Why", not "School Sucks and Why." I'm referring to my school in general (which I'm keeping unnamed because God help me if they catch my ass saying how much I despise it).

This school is so wretched, so despicable that I think it's already fucked up my childhood without me realizing it. But, the weird thing is this school is unlike many others. There's something different here. Very, very different and in the worst possible matter. I often ask other people from across the country, if not other countries, of how their school works. So far, none seem to match mine. The one good thing about this school is that there isn't much drug usage, not all that much fighting happening on a daily basis and that the education is actually pretty impressive. But other than that, everything else falls flat on its ass. It's so horrid that I may have to turn this rage of text into sections of what I hate and why.

FUCK YEAH,  FEEL THE BURN

But really, when I boil it down to it's bare bones, I see what the main error of this school is: the people. The school is very "clicky", per say. In other words, there's a "cool group", and if you're not a part of said group, you're not awesome and are left in the cold.

Also, this school is--for some odd reason--REALLY Political. The teachers always refer to Politics for some damned reason. This wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't a school full of Republicans and I was one of the very marginal Democrats. Now, you'd think we'd all just be cool and treat each other nice. Instead, pretty much everyone secretly hates me; if not everyone, than a good 97% do. And no, that's not a hyperbole. I'd really guess that 97% is pretty close to how much of the school dislikes me. Sure, there's a few teachers who don't mind, even a handful of students. But for the most part, not many people enjoy seeing me.

After all the years I've spent at this school (which is, well, my whole goddamn life), I'm still not exactly sure what's so odd about these people compared to whatever Hell you're suffering. But if I were to take a good guess, I'd say that they're all in their own little world. Thinking that the world revolves around them, not really caring much outside of their families (just their families) and PRAISIN' DA (nonexistent) LORD. It drives me crazy to see even the best guy I could possibly call a friend tell me that,"If I don't accept Jesus as my savior, I shall burn in Hell."

But it gets worse. The people are cocky and think of themselves as far superior to others.I can just tell from how they treat others that they think they're going to end up one day living either famous or just a successful life. Let's see if you still believe that when you end up working at McDonald's for a lack of intelligence and focus on life. I know this sounds all overdone, but believe me. You have to see these people to goddamn believe it.

Oh, did I mention the Politics already? Yeah, did I also mention that they're insulting me of it when they're in 6th fucking grade? What the fuck are you kids doing talking about Politics at the beginning of Middle School? You barely know the difference between China and Japan or Mexico and Spain. Don't tell me that you think Sarah Palin isn't a hypocrite for being a creationist and a redneck. I was forced to understand Politics due to the overabundance of insults I had at school from students because my family is Democratic, just so I could partially defend myself. That year was the worst in my life since that was when the huge election between McCain and Obama was raging on. (if you do the math and figure out what grade I'm in now... yeah, I was held back a few times, alright?) People using the "N" word, saying they hoped Obama would perish in the most painful way possible and how you can see Russia from Alaska.

Yeah. Not hypocritical at all when you people act as loyal followers of God, believing we're "All God's Children" and "Follow the Golden Rule." Hoping someone shoots Obama in the head means not only are you a hypocrite for wishing death upon someone, but you are also probably suicidal. Either way, that's really, really stupid. If there is such a God, I can bet that he's up there, facepalming time and time again at the utter stupidity of some of these people.

"Yeah, this is totally not going according to plan."

I think I've spoken my mind off enough now to settle down for a nice cup of tea. Note, these posts are really meant to be taken seriously. They're basically me whining and bitching about crap in my life, so if you don't enjoy reading how annoying my life is, I don't know why the Hell you're reading down to this point. All criticism or opinions will be well accepted. So, goodnight and have a nice fucking day. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must tend to my busywork.

Being Young Yet Open

I think I've heard enough of this, so I think I'm going to make a short post.

People. I get it. I'm 14. Pretty young to be worrying about shit that I shouldn't. Do you think I have not heard that phrase more times than I care to remember? How insulting to my intelligence it is to hear that? I get it. I have got another 60 years or so left in my life. I think I'll have plenty of time to be dealing with crap I can't now. But I'm still human, I worry about things I shouldn't. Me wanting a girlfriend? That's just me being either perverted or really lonely. I am depressed, after all, from my father since he grew up in quite a shithole, and sometimes I just have a hard time of going on in life without having someone I can hug or talk to, etc. 

And what about me saying I want to get laid? That's a damned joke everytime I've ever said that in my life, period. I'm 14 years old; not a very appropriate nor legal year to have sex, is it? I'm smart enough to know that if I were to have sex now, my mentality would be probably fucked up for the rest of my life. Not to mention, who in the hell would have sex with me anyways?! Have you seen my face?

"Man, I need to get laid."

Do you have any idea how ludicrous the idea for... whatever the hell you call that thing in the image, to even imagine having sex at that point in his life? All I ask is that people--please--stop taking me so damned literally. If I really wanted to get laid, my tweets would look less intelligent than Justin Beiber... Just wanted to let my thoughts out was all. 

[Note: Try not to take this post seriously. It's really not a big deal, but I just feel the urge to let my thoughts out there so I'm not just some perverted kid hoping to one day lose his virginity to Aphrodite. That and this damned blog needed a new pointless post.]

Annoyances! #1: Ignorance Isn't Bliss

Now, by this point, you hopefully read the title but probably don't quite understand what I'm talking about. I'm starting a little post of where I bitch and whine about stuff that I find absolutely annoying and break them down into why exactly I find these absolutely annoying and repetitive. I have 3 little buttons. Push one of these and you're really going to make me wanna punch you. One of them is "Ignoring someone, hoping they'll go away." In other words, if you ignore me, I start to get a bit angry.

But allow me to explain my case. I'm not saying that ignoring me is wrong. I guarantee you there are people out there who absolutely despise me and want to rip my balls off more than they want to "save the South."

And that's saying a lot to these people.

When I say I hate ignorance, I hate it when people don't give me a reason. An explanation. An excuse as to why you're ignoring me. I should also say this includes hatred, as people will get mad at me and try to go off on me. Let me say this right now, if you're friends with me--whether it be Twitter or anywhere else--TELL ME IF I'M PISSING YOU OFF. I may be a dumbass and do something to offend you but that's not saying I was trying to. If I offend you, tell me. I'll stop. It may have been something you realized but I may not have a fucking clue I just drew you to being hurt. I don't want to piss people off because I wasn't aware of something. If you instead ignore me or go off without telling me why, I start to REALLY get aggravated. If you're going to do one or the other, give a legit reason. Otherwise, to me, there's no point why you're doing it.

I'm mainly mad at this topic due to a recent event of mine (I'm not stating any names nor explanations of what happened) where someone was ignoring me and I kept trying to ask them,"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY, GODDAMNIT?" If they had simply told me why, the situation could've ended in a peaceful matter. Let me put it this way.

Let's say you're an author. You're writing a novel you've been working on for years, painstakingly writing, getting in everything you can. Now, let's say that, right at the end of this book of yours while writing, you suddenly said,"Fuck it." and tossed the book out. Think about that. You spent all that hard time and work into the book, and decided to screw it off for no reason. That's absurd. Even if the book is so shitty that it makes 'Twilight' look like 'The Book of Eli', you still wanted to end that book and move on. But now, it'll just be sitting there, never having the chance to put it in your little "Shelf of Life" (probably will be classified in the,"Shit Happens." section, but still).

But even then, Twilight will still suck.

What I'm saying is if you ignore someone or go off without an explanation, they will forever have to go on in life, wondering, "What the fuck WAS that all about?", and--especially if it's ignorance--you'll never get an answer as to why. You'll die with something you never finished, and no man or woman should have to die knowing they didn't finish some business with someone or something. You could even completely screw over someone's life with this. Had you JUST explained the goddamned reason, things would've been so much easier. We need to learn from this lesson so that way we won't screw some people completely over with something that could've been fixed had you just fuckin' told 'em why you were ignoring them or went off on them.

Well, that concludes today's post on "Annoyance!" from little ol' Jeagle. I hope some of you either had a few chuckles, thinking, or hopefully a realization if you hadn't noticed earlier. If you have any sort of criticism, please leave a comment below (because I have nothing better to do in my spare time other than reading them). I enjoy reading any criticism to help improve my writing skills.

Help Write Articles at Project Haruhi?... Hell, Why Not?

It's no secret that I now help write certain reviews--as well as other projects--on Project Haruhi. I took the offer from Jon (aka Ritsu). He was impressed with my writing, I guess from this blog. Hell, they may have picked me just because my name sounds really cool. Because lets be honest, if you were hosting a website, would you really like to have a 14 year old on your team of you and a bunch of other 20 year olds? Even if you do look past the age and really at the intelligence, it would seem a tad bit awkward, wouldn't you assume? However, I was more than delighted to accept.

Now, whenever I'm offered to go on... fuck, ANYTHING, I tend to start feeling like I had just been accepted to some huge group of people (I'm talking communities as big as Cracked.com here) and am now officially a badass. Not saying Project Haruhi isn't a popular site or anything, but it's not like it's the hugest and biggest thing to anime fans as Starmen.net is to EarthBound fans. Still, I was thrilled anyone would want me on really anything.

Really. ANYTHING.

Then again, how many people are you aware of that are 14 writing articles that weren't with the most piss poor grammar and the most god awful topics that only an idiot would choose?... Well, then again, I write about boring shit on my life, so I can't say much for myself on that. Hell, I feel like I accomplished enough on this site just knowing how to edit it around with those god damned HTMLs. Absolute torture, I say.

But now I'm getting off topic. Just now know that I help out the site and am now officially an essential to it!... OK, of course that's a pitiful lie, but none the less, I'm happy to help the site. I'll mostly be doing reviews on anime and such--hopefully a few video games too--and maybe even some other stuff, if my otakuness spreads far enough. Now know that I am a servant under our God--...HARUHI.

She's a lot more powerful than she is fappable.

Why I Really Shouldn't Claim Myself as Much of an Otaku

If any of you are reading, hopefully you're already pretty well aware of who the hell is writing this blog in the first place. And--most likely--you're from Twitter. Now, if you're from Twitter and are on this site (of all the obscurities on the god damned Internet), then you're probably interested into anime, manga, video games and so forth. And as awesome as I love the feeling of seeing people who love anime follow me on Twitter, I honestly do not know all too much on anime.

You see, I'm a bit of a late breed. I've only been into anime for less than a year, so I've been doing everything to the best of my abilities of fitting in and understanding everything of being an otaku. But of course, there's a major flaw with this. For, you see, I just became interested in anime around January, thanks to Haruhi. But any sort of shows or famous history of anime before 2010, I'm very unfamiliar with.

I've been so unfamiliar with it, in fact, that just mere minutes ago, I JUST learned of god damned Train Man (thanks to the lovely services of the manlyhood-tearing jHYtse). This book (which I would LOVE to read right now, honestly) is a popular novel among otaku, from the looks of Wikipedia. But this is just one sign that I have the brain of an asinine monkey when it comes to anime.

OMG ANIME HAS BEWBIEZ,LALWZ

Another thing to note of me is that if you were to show me a picture of a random anime character from some random anime, chances are I don't know who the fuck it is. And I don't mean like an absolutely obscure show that nobody even knows anyways, I'm talking some well known anime, like.......

...............

Well, there ya go. I can't even think of a damned example of any anime. But there's more to it than just some anime character. Let's speak about some popular sites among the Internet involving anime, such as 4chan. Do you have ANY idea of how long ago I just learned of this website and understood what it was? Probably less than 2 or 3 weeks ago, really (thanks again to the kick-ass of BlackStriker201)

How about a site such as Danbooru? Well, I had to look in my bookmarks just now to remember the freakn' name, so that pretty much sums up how much I know of that site. What about some other site, like that dorky blog with that annoying ass kid who writes about stupid shit of his life? I think it was called Otaku Eagle or some shit...

...Wait....SHIT.

I just came across the sites from either various tweets or hunted them down myself. What do I know of these sites? Well, 4chan I know is an image board that posts pictures mainly relating to anime related, usually. As for Danbooru, it just looks like a rule34 with an even more diverse way of tracking down stuff (such as positions), but it isn't as full of porn as rule34, at least. That's about the best way I can sum up those sites, because I found them and simply had to figure out what the flying-camel-shit-fuck they were.

Is that how everybody else started using these sites? Heard about them from somewhere, checked them out, and deduced what they were from there on? Because if I attempted at that, I usually don't feel confident with myself of it because I'm not 100% sure that's what the sites were.

Hell, for all I know, I could be making a mockery out of myself right now at how complicated I'm looking at just figuring out these sites. But that's how I've always felt when it came to something involving anime and such, ever since I first saw anime back in '07. I always felt like something as simple an anime, that's soul purpose was to entertain, somehow has people insulting it for having fan service, or being moe, or something of that sort. And all though I've heard people who DO complain of that are usually morons, how the hell am I supposed to be aware of that when I just started watching this stuff a few months ago?

I Should have been born in the fucked up weirdness that was the 80s...

Is there some sort of magical trick I should be well aware of to help me keep up-to-par with everything I should know when it comes to this stuff? If so, please, someone, tell me. I guess a major reason for this was because that I was born in 1995, the year with a kickass James Bond movie that turned into a kickass video game...

...But I digress. I was born pretty freakn' late to be interested in this stuff. I was born right in the prime of anime. And I was just fucking born, it took another 14 years until I just got into the stuff. It's like someone decided to plant cotton in the South in the 1950s (for those who don't know, the more we got into the modern age, the shittier it was for people who planted cotton). I was a little late to see all the awesome action. Sure, I could still do it, but it'll be much harder than it would've been had I been around about 200 years earlier (200 years, about 10 years for my situation, is there really a difference?).

So while most people were enjoying the prime of the 90s, I was still trying to comprehend the difference between candy and magnets. So, what I guess I'm really trying to ask to anyone reading this who has been into the anime stuff for years is... How the fuck did you go from not knowing what "otaku" meant to where you are now today? A website helped you that I'm unaware of? You did the shit on your own and didn't write an annoying post whining and bitching for help? Or did a magical fairy named Moe gave you the magical powers to help you understand any and everything otaku?

I have gained some assistance, such as what anime I should probably watch...

...Fuck, this could take a while.

...but I feel as though that I need a bit more assistance than just a list. What about any websites? Where are some good places to watch anime? Read manga? A good place to look up on this type of stuff? Anything of that sort. If you can (again, forgive me for sounding so cliche) leave a comment on this. Again, all I wish is good criticism (and by GOOD, I mean LOGICAL and WELL EXPLAINED...). Or you can just leave and go back to masturbating to that picture of someone boning Nagato, whatever you wish to.

Also, you can tell me of what you thought of how I wrote this. Need anything more to it? Too long or boring or maybe both? Too humorous or not humorous enough? Again, all GOOD criticism is welcome (again, by GOOD... yeah, you should know.).

Thanks for your time reading this, and have a nice day. Hop hop, cheerio, and all that~

The British have just as many Tea Parties as the Light Music Club, apparently...